I tried to study (yes mugging) and i got sick of it halfway, mostly due to me unable to understand what the text is talking about. I realise that reading for leisure is ok for me, but reading for understanding of the context is getting hard for me. Is it the 2 yrs break from studies or is it i am getting more and more distracted by things around me? Back when we were young, all we had to do was to study well and that's it. That's what all sporeans kids are doing right? but now, beside studies, there are just so many many things to care about. I guess i have not mastered the skill of clearing my mind.... my mind is just so blocked up everytime..

but still I have to study... the thought of the freaking expensive sch fees and the loan crap sort of forces me face reality. yes. study. apart from studying, i wish i cld do more than that in uni. After all, uni life is not all studies. Have decided to join the geog soc as a comm member, as well as the nus red cross (i still got an interview to pass thru). y red cross?? a lot ppl seems so shocked at that... even yz was laughing at it... I guess i must have gave ppl the impression that i am not the caring sort... ok, i am not that compassionate to the point where i wld spend all my weekends at the old folks home caring for them. i actually like to help others. helping them makes me feel happy. esp when i know that others really appreciate it. i used to have patient thanking me (even bought me a drink) after spending one whole aft at the hospital with him. know that he really appreciates my effort made me feel good. people have came to me for advise whenever they have any injuries or some concerns. I just tell them what i know and gave them advise within my limits. It feels great to be able to help them. In the service industry, even a word of 'thanks' means something to the person serving you. at least he or her knows you appreciate what he has done and after all the crap n shit in serving other freaking annoying customers, a thanks plus a smile could be the thing that keeps them sane. After being in the medical service in army, i feel that i actually like the nature of the job. it could actually being comfort to others. and yes, you be thinking i shld advance myself in the healthcare industry. why i choose not to do so is because i know i am not that noble to fully devote myself in it. some thing as to why i would not want to be a social worker. cause i know that at some point, i would just feel so so so demoralised and i wouldnt' want to continue. that's why i choose to join such organisations. I need not do it full time, and yet i could devote some time to helping others.

ok... enough of the 'big talk'... it's just so not what i wld be saying...

so while sick of studying, i actually listened to some of the CD i have... those like 10 yrs back ones... haha...

and jacky cheung's 拥抱阳光 reminds me of this tag on 93.3



嘉蕙：dear, 帮我擦suntan lotion...
重庆：擦哪里？
嘉蕙：擦背la！其他地方我擦得到
重庆：擦背有什么意思。。。。